I'm a sinner.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_Deadly_Sins

I did most of my Christmas shopping online this year. I bought most of the gifts from etsy. My new favorite thing in the whole world. Other then etsy I like amazon.

But I did buy some stuff that is probably from China. But I got some really good deals. I got this for $30. Eric is 4, turns 5 in April. I also got him this. We are working on his fear of monsters. I got this because he said he wanted a piano. I know its cheap and nothing at all like a piano, but I just want to see if he will like it. I didn't get him much else because he will not be spending Christmas with me. He is spending it with his dad.

For Lily I got her some baby legs, some mary jane shoes, and a stacker toy.

I got a purple tutu for my two year old niece. I got a some hair things for my 4 year old neice. Some wooden blocks for my two year old nephew.

I am pretty happy with what I have picked out so far this year. I love getting other people presents. I only with I could be in Ohio when my nieces and nephew get their gifts.

When I was 12 or 13 I became obsessed with Jonathan Davis. I think it is normal for most girls. But most girls my age were obsessed with Nsync or the backstreet boys. (NSync for my best friend at the time)

My step-dad gave me the Follow the leader Korn cd, and that was it. I got all of Korn's cds and I was going to marry Jonathan Davis when I grew up. I didn't care that at the time he was already married. My step-dad went to prison. I wall-papered my bedroom with Jonathan Davis pictures I printed off the internet when I was 14.

I joined a band when I was 15. Sure my boyfriend was the drummer and I sucked ass at playing the bass but we were fucking awesome. We called ourselves "Enfekted" and we were going to call our fans "germs" if we ever got famous. My best guy friend was the singer. He wrote songs about his broken home and the fucked up government. At one point I had the most awesome bass. It was a D'Armond Ashbury. I sold that thing two years ago. I shouldn't have.

Anyway, when I broke up with the drummer boy obviously the band broke up. We sucked anyway. I still can't play guitar. I try, but honestly, I am crap. But it was a great time in my life.

Around the time I was 17 I realized I would never meet or marry Jonathan Davis. I gave up and moved on. Still I feel like I have to keep track of him or whatever because he was so important to me when I was young. His band's music helped me through my terrible teenage years. I felt like I wasn't alone. I knew other people had been through the same crap, and survived.

Today I had one of my back teeth removed. It hurts. A lot.

I had some cavaties filled back in 2004 and one of those went all screwy. I am not a dental anything so I am not really sure what happened. But my back tooth this morning when I woke up was all broken and basically just roots. Now there is nothing there. I am home with these two kids trying my best just to get through today.

Luckily I have educational T.V. and books Eric likes to pretend to read. Lily has her swing, her bouncy and her gym. Yay for things like those on days like today.

I wish I could call in sick for one day. But you don't get the option when you are a SAHM. The husband is busy with some big project at work so couldn't take a day off for me. That makes me sad but I know I can do this. I am okay. I have my tylenol 3s.

Just keep on keepin' on.

For thanksgiving we went over to my friends house. It was a great time.

My son liked it so much that today while we were driving around when I asked him where he wanted to eat dinner on his next birthday he said that he wanted to eat at the friend we had thanksgiving with.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am thankful for so much this year. My husband, my children, being alive.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day.

While playing with Lego:

"Obi wan oh no!!"

"We don't have any more shoots! We don't have any more missiles! There are too many bad guys! We need more shoots."

Trying to be anti-china this year for xmas is really hard. I have no idea what I will be getting my kids. All the toys I look at come from China.

Kevin: "I don't want him sounding like a moron when he grows up."

Eric: "But I do. I am a Jedi. Jedis sound like orknobs."

Him, "What does Jedis drink?"

Me, "Jedis drink water or milk."

Him, "What does Jedis eat?"

Me, "Jedis eat healthy food. Especially vegetables. And they always eat all their dinner."

Him, "No, I think they like junk food."

I've been having a rough time lately.

Today I told who I thought was my "best friend" how I felt. I told her I was having suicidal thoughts. She said "oh come on."

How am I supposed to reach for help when the one person I thought I could trust doesn't believe me?

My blog is so boring lately. Blah. I'm having a hard time recovering from being sick. I think its because I am still breastfeeding a 3 month old.

Yesterday I came down with food poisoning. I am starting to feel better but man was I sick.

I guess Ive already failed in posting every day.

Lily is teething

NaNoWriMo is going.

Not very well. I guess its not a good idea to think about ideas the whole month before you start.