Goodbye. See ya next month.

I have been trying to think of something to blog about all day. I've mostly got nothin'.

Lily hasn't napped well since her teeth started poking out. Just now I drove to the nearest drive thru Starbuck's and got a grande green tea frappachino. She was asleep before we got there. Now I am sitting here reading blogs and drinking my frap. Life is good.

I will miss you internet while I am away. I am going to Phoenix for a week. I leave on Saturday. I will return the following weekend. No one in my family has internet access. I may be able to use the interweb at a friend's house. But otherwise I will be cut off. Lets hope I survive.

Rules:
1. Post these rules at the beginning of the meme
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves
3. At the end of the post, the player tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment to let them know they've been tagged and asking them to read your blog


What were you doing 10 years ago?

I was 13. My step dad was just thrown in prison. I lived in Avondale, AZ. I was in 7th grade. I got into several fights after school with different girls. My best friend's mom said I wasn't allowed at their house anymore. I was kicked out of my first southern baptist church for getting into a fight with the youth group leader's daughter(She started it, but I ended it). I tried smoking cigarettes(my next door neighbor bought them for me), had really bad asthma attacks. I fell through a glass coffee table and messed up my right arm/hand forever.

Five snacks I enjoy:

fresh popped popcorn (No microwave crap)
chocolate chip cookies
mango salsa and tortilla chips
hagan daz chocolate ice cream
milk chocolate

things I would do if I were a billionaire:

buy a house, buy an electric car, have more babies, buy my mom a house, build my grandma a huge house on her land. Travel to japan, France, new Zealand, Germany, Hawaii. Go to school. (Am I only supposed to have five?)

Five jobs I have had:

Hotel Front desk clerk at a best western, cashier at the Arizona state fair, exotic dancer, front desk clerk at a homestead studio suites, cashier at a gym.

Three bad habits:

nail biting, complaining, cursing

five places I have lived:

Seguin, TX, Phoenix, AZ, Indianola, OK, Akron, OH, Sunnyvale, CA

People I would like to get to know: Jenn and Darcie.

Yesterday I was cleaning my house while Lily was napping and thinking grumpy negative thoughts about how my life is so terrible and blah blah blah. I don't know when I became such a bitch. Or how. I mean, thinking about how I grew up and where I have had to live, I have it really really good. I am a spoiled fucking brat. I have no right to be, but lately I have been. I am totally admitting it. I need to just knock it off.

I mean so many women want to stay home and take care of their children but they have to work. Here I am, staying at home, in a pretty nice house and I complain about it. Lately I wonder if maybe I am just crazy and I don't know how to be happy so I make myself unhappy for no reason.

And my husband. I am so mean to him sometimes. Last night he came home at 7:45 p.m. I was pissed. I made him make dinner.(woo hoo a digiorno pizza) I complain about the hours he works, and when he works at home. He enjoys his job, most people do not. I need to just let it go and not fight over every little thing. He could die tomorrow. He could be dying this instant and I would feel like an asshole for the way I have been acting lately. (I just IMed him, he is alive and sarcastic as ever)


Valeta Brown: are you alive?
Brownie: no
Valeta Brown: then how are you typing?
Brownie: magic
Brownie: ghost writer
Valeta Brown: you could die any minute
Valeta Brown: you could be dying right now
Valeta Brown: are you?
Brownie: I'm not busy being born.
Brownie: SO yeah
Valeta Brown: lol

I just want to say good luck/congrats to misszoot! She is having her 3rd baby today! I can't wait to read her story and see her pictures! Yay for babies!

Today my daughter got her first tooth. I was beginning to wonder if she would ever get one. Then this evening my son's grandmother tells me he has his first loose tooth.

My babies are growing so fast! I am so proud of them. Even though teeth come and go naturally. Hehe.

Happy Birthday to Peter Mayhew! Because of you I have sex dreams about very tall hairy things.

Yesterday we got a stereo put in our car after not having one for three years. Now driving doesn't seem like such a hassle. At least I can sing along and annoy my kids while we go run errands. Hehe!

Songs I listened to today that made me have random thoughts:

"I wanna be your lover" by Prince - I wish I had some leg warmers in my size.

"All I really want to do" by Bob Dylan - I need more friends

"Thieves in the temple" by Prince - hehe, this one sparked dirty thoughts that I should not tell the Internet

"Colors of the wind" from Pocahontas - I wish I had some painting equipment, I bet I could make an interesting painting. Probably not good, but interesting.

"Icarus" by Ani DiFranco - I should smile more.

"bumblebee (buzz buzz)" by Laurie Berkner - Bees are only cute in songs and on baby clothing. I hate bees.

"Husband, can you get me some water?"

"Yes wife, I will do what you do not want to do. "

"You're allowed to say no, you know."

"No because if I say no you will give me a dirty look and write mean things about me on your blog."

I love my husband.

My daughter is a drama queen. I love her super awesome girlishness. But sometimes? I wish she wasn't so scared of everything. She is scared of the play equipment at the park. She is scared of slides. She is scared of her baby pool.

Today I took her to a park that had a little sprinkler thing for kids. She mostly hated it. I sat her in the water, not under the sprinkler, just in the water and she cried. After a while she calmed down and she just sat there watching the other kids run around and play. She also tried to eat a leaf.

Oh well. She will learn that water and toys are fun eventually. I guess everything is so big and scary when you are just a little bitty.

Lily had her nine month check up today. 18 lbs 3.5 oz. Big ol' girl. And I carry her around in a peanut shell sling all the damn time. My poor back.

She had one shot and so today she is grumpy bumpy. Yes, I immunize my children. Its my choice and I think the pros outweigh the cons by far. I have not seen sufficient evidence that the tiny bit of mercury that USED to be in some shots could cause any side effects. There seems to be an equal amount of experts that believe both sides of this debate. That is just my opinion, if you disagree, good for you! That is why we are all grown-ups. We get to make our own choices, yay.

On that note I have been noticing a lot of something lately. In parenting, everyone seems to think that their way is the right way and the only way something should be done. I totally disagree! My husband says many people are like this in all aspects of life. I am a mom who hangs out with other moms so that is what I notice, what other moms do. When I was a new mom(it seems like just yesterday), I read many parenting books. I thought there must be a "right" way to do everything. Well I have been a mom for over 5 years and in my experience, there is no "right" way. What works for one child or one family, probably will not work for another child or family.

It seems like when parents get together, they debate the different ways of doing different things. It always irritates the hell out of me when I meet someone new and I end up getting a lecture about my child. HELLO! MY CHILD! Not YOUR child. MY child. Since when did parents stop teaching, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!"?

I am just as guilty as the next person as doing this exact thing I am ranting about. But just recently I have noticed how much it can really hurt my feelings. The other night I went to "mom's night out" with my new mom's club and I ended up getting a lecture about car seats. The person giving the lecture didn't know what type of car seat I had in or that I had taken a class on how to install it before Lily was born, but she talked on and on about how her way is the right way for 15 minutes. It was just really irritating. And I did not say anything to her about it. The same thing happened in an IM with a former friend a while ago when I made a comment about breastfeeding 8 year olds.

So I just want to say if you are a parent at the park and a new person starts chatting with you, think twice before you start on a lecture about how your way is the "right" way. There is no "right" way.

In 2004 I donated my eggs. They retrieved 4 little Valeta eggs and put them in another woman's body. I mostly did it for the money, I really needed it at the time. But I also hoped I could give someone else the gift of motherhood.I was only 19 years old and my son was a year old.

I think about those eggs all the time. I have no idea if they ever became babies. I hope whoever received my eggs has become a mother. I wonder if there is a Valeta child out there if they will ever know they have another mother. I wonder if their parents will ever tell them that they were made with a donated egg. I guess its not like being a birth mom because I was not pregnant and I did not give birth to that baby. But I still wonder and hope they are loved and hugged every day. There is a chance that there was no baby. That the implantation or whatever went wrong.

This morning I went to the post office to mail a book to a bookmoocher. I usually do business with one of the very nice ladies who work there. Not today. Today I get the male worker who is always an asshole to everyone. Every time I have to deal with him I regret even using the post office. I mean if it wasn't for people like me who use the post office he wouldn't even have a fracking job!

I stood in line and watched him say something rude to every person that came to his desk. I just don't get it. What ever happened to a little kindness? What about customer service? He wouldn't mail my package because I was reusing a box that someone else had sent a book to me in. Its crap, I have never had a problem reusing boxes before. But he wouldn't accept it. Excuse the frack out of me for trying to eliminate a little waste!

Mother's day ended up being really nice. My hubby bubby made me lobster and shrimp tacos and they were the best thing I have ever eaten, ever.

My son called me and made me laugh. My daughter giggled and smiled her baby smile. What more could a mommy want?

Happy Mother's day to all the mommies out there. (And all the mothers-to-be.)

When I called my mom she didn't have anything to say to me. Sometimes silence hurts more then she knows.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Sunday.

I am just feeling really low this weekend. It is mother's day tomorrow and the person who made me a mother is miles and miles away. My husband is against "hallmark holidays." Especially Mother's day because he grew up without a mother. He just doesn't get it. My mom is miles and miles away too. I sent her a gift but I wish I could see someone in person.

I am jealous of everyone I know out here because they all have some type of family to visit on holidays. But not me. I am just alone most holidays because husband sleeps all day. I know I shouldn't be angry, I should let him sleep. He works all week and has to wake up at 9 am every weekday (GOD FORBID! NINE A M!) and I should let him sleep when he gets the chance(truth be told he usually does not get out of bed until 10 or 10:30, and I wish he would have a normal schedule). Will he let me sleep in tomorrow? Of course not. My daughter wakes up at 7 every morning. Happy, shiny, ready for the day.

I asked him a few days ago if we could go out for breakfast this weekend. I wanted to go today because tomorrow everywhere will be super busy. I haven't gone out for breakfast in forever but of course he talked me out of it. He just is not a morning person. And I am just extremely selfish so I am down here pouting while he sleeps in.

I wish we could just go visit family for the weekend. But we live so far from his family that it makes it really difficult. I miss my grandma but she lives in Arizona. Ho. Hum. This must be why people stay near their families. So they will not be uber lonely.

I cannot wait for the Twilight movie. Seriously! I am geeking out over the trailer! I have become a huge Stephenie Meyer fan. I don't care her her books are supposed to be for teens! I was one myself a few years ago.

I never thought if Cedric Diggory as good looking, mostly because in the HP world, I lurve Harry the most. But (from all the stuff I have seen so far) I think Robert Pattinson was a good choice for Edward. Although I think I should be playing Bella. I am not as tall as her but I can pass for 17. And I am the most clumsy person in the world. Oh yeah and I love vampires. (And wizards.) Since they didn't pick me, I think Kristen Stewart looks a lot like I imagined Bella would.

Yay books! Yay Movies!

I wish I had something awesome to blog about. I really don't. Blah blah. Boring AWESOME life of a SAHM.

I got a new phone this morning! Husband wont agree to my getting an Iphone because I lost two cellphones last year and a $500 phone isn't the kind of thing you want to lose. And its true. I do not treat electronics like I treat the things that have come out of my womb. He does though. His iphone is his baby he carries and loves everywhere. So I got this phone. It calls, texts and even has a crappy camera. AND its PINK. I heart pink so its good enough for me. My digital camera is pink. Yes my husband will be mad that I bought another electronic device mostly because it was pink. But I just make this face at him. :P

Lily got her new pedipeds today. So far they are staying on her feet! And they are cute! And I like that they are soft soled. She already walks along anything she can. She will be a walkin' and a talkin' soon. Yay!

Now that my little sweet pea is 9 months old, I'm in trouble. No more sitting her on the floor next to me surrounded by toys. She is mobile and can climb the stairs. It seems like every day she does something new. I just love her to bits.

Nine inch Nails is going to be in Oakland on September 5th and if I do not get to go my husband is fired.

He got to see Bob Dylan the weekend after we got married. NIN has been here TWICE since we got married! Its my turn damn it! I don't care if he has seen them live already.

I love Trent Reznor forever. Just thought you might want to know.

That song right there. That is one of Eric's favorites. Well while he was on the phone with me earlier he gave me his version of it.

It started out just like Laurie Berkner's but it had a very different ending. He said, "My penis is golden and my legs are silver!"

Silly silly boy.

I want this and this and this. Now all I need is to figure out a way to get the husband on board.


*taps finger on desk* hmm....

I was inspired by this to make a list of things I want to do this summer.

Take Lily on her first train ride.
Make Lily a dress.
Make Lily a tutu.
Visit my grandma.
Go to the drive - in theatre.
Spend a whole day sleeping.
Blog everyday.
Take Lily to the beach for the first time.
Find some baby shoes that will stay on Lily's feet.
Take Eric fishing for the first time.
Take both kids to the Phoenix zoo.
Read a lot of books.
Make a new friend.
Try some new food.

One time when my son was two, I was standing in my living room talking to my cousin. My cousin had four kids at the time so we usually would chat about our kids whenever we saw each other. My son ran into my bedroom and took off his clothes and diaper. He grabbed a bright blue thong out of my underwear drawer and put it on. He pulled the hip straps all the way up to his shoulders so it looked like one of these. It must have been really uncomfy but he was two and didn't care. My son ran into the living room threw his arms in the air and yelled, "SURPRISE!"

My cousin and I were shocked. We started cracking up. I was so embarrassed. I said something like, "What the heck are you doing?" And made him take it off and put a diaper on.

If it would have been anyone else standing there with me I don't think I could have laughed. Now I think about it and I just laugh so hard.

I love my silly silly son.