I wont really have access to the internets for a week. I might sneak my husband's iphone though. I will be sending pictures from my phone to flickr all week.

I'm off to have an adventure. I hope you all have a nice week.

Take the Quiz here!

The evolution of Valeta hair.

Next tuesday my sweet baby girl turns 1 year old. I can't believe how fast this year has gone by. Here is her birth story. I wish I would have put more detail into it, but she was only a few days old when I wrote it and I was exhausted.

Today I am 11 weeks pregnant and exhausted yet again. :D

Some things I cannot wait for!

The Time Traveler's Wife. My favorite book in the whole wide world has been turned into a movie. Lets hope McAdam's doesn't suck like in the notebook and Bana doesn't suck like in his version of the hulk. EEEEEE!

Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility. I love other harvest moon games. Except the very first one. Husband would say it is completely boring but I can't wait to have a farm and babies on my wii.

Spore. Its going to be awesome. You get to make your own species of creatures. Yay! I will be naming mine Valetians. :D

Only a few more days until Breaking Dawn. I will be on vacation when it comes out but hopefully I will get a copy anyway. Eeeee!

Star Wars: The Clone Wars. eee! Star Wars. Yay! Can someone please tell Husband that Anakin is what we should name our baby if its a boy? Thanks.

I'm sick of people telling what to write on MY blog. Hello? Its called "valeta" not "the internets."

Five random thoughts:

I use the word, "awesome" to describe everything. My vocabulary really sucks for someone who reads all the time.

I like 80's music but most 80's style clothing ..... not so much. Yuck. Maybe because my mom still dresses like she is in 1982.

My daughter is so much like her daddy. If she grew facial hair they would be twins.

People who don't show up to play dates suck.

I cannot wait for my birthday. I want some freaking cake. So bad! Good thing Lily's birthday is the day before mine. Cake! Two days in a row! YES!

This morning I had an appointment with one of my midwives. I heard baby number three's heartbeat. It was awesome. 160 BPM. For some reason it feels so real after hearing its little heartbeat. I saw its heartbeat on the ultrasound at the last appointment but there is nothing like hearing it. There really is a little baby in there! Yay!

I also got to talk to her about things I was unhappy with in my last delivery. I feel so relieved after talking to her about it.

I took the kids out for lunch and then I ran to trader joe's so now I am pooped out. Lily is napping (yay!) so I am going to try to relax a little before she wakes up.

According to this I am the worst writer ever. Thanks world. I may just have to study English when I go to school.

My friend Jen was telling me I should only blog about things that make me smile. Lately my smiles have been few and far between, but I am going to try.

For the past few months at bedtime husband and I have been taking turns reading one chapter of a Harry Potter book to the kids. Lily just crawls around while Eric listens. I love this ritual. We are halfway through Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince and I will be sad when we finish all of them. Can we just start all over? lol.

Lily's favorite toys are her balls. She loves it when you roll them to her and she tries to roll them back. Usually she throws them behind her. It is hilarious. This makes me smile.

Today was a good day.

The morning was crazy. Eric had three cavities filled. I came home to my Lily alone downstairs while daddy slept in his bed. Apparently she woke up and he didn't notice. I was angry at him for letting her go downstairs all by herself. I broke a glass bottle of apple juice in the bathroom downstairs because I am a klutz and it was the stickiest glassiest mess ever. I was so angry at myself.

So after lunch I decided to get out of the house. My mom sent money to buy Lily this and to take Eric out for ice cream so he could have a brain freeze from grandma. First we went to cold stone creamery and I tried their cake batter ice cream with sprinkles. OMG! It was the best thing ever. Eric had french vanilla with white chocolate chips.

Then we go to Toys R' Us to get Lily's toy. I also got her this from me. It is totally awesome. I love old toys. Eric begs for legos. Eric begs for batman toys. I get down to his level and I say to him, "I know its hard to understand, but it's Lily's birthday not yours. She didn't get anything on your birthday so I am not buying you anything for hers. Sorry honey."He cried. He cried at the checkout. He cried in the car. Until he fell asleep his heart was broken and he cried.

I remember feeling the same way at my little brother's birthday. I didn't know what else to say to him. Just another hard lesson for a five year old. Or a lesson for mommy. Don't take kids to go birthday shopping. Either way today out with the kids lifted my spirits and I am in a lot better mood then I was this morning.

I shall take pictures of my cute baby on her birthday presents. I am giving them to her now since her birthday party will be in Ohio and I cannot fit this stuff into my suitcase with me. :D

Me: "She's sweaty. Yuck."

Him: "She's not slutty. She's only a freaking year old."

Last night I had a dream that my new baby was premature. I was in the NICU a lot. I remember saying something about Thanksgiving. I was so sad. My baby was so sick.

I looked at my calendar and I will be 28 weeks pregnant the week of Thanksgiving. There is a chance a baby born at 28 weeks could live. I hope it was just a nightmare and I am not psychic.

It is 4pm and Lily will not nap today. I haven't changed my schedule but for some reason she wont fall asleep when I rock her. I hope she naps soon, we have an outing planned this evening.

Today I am 10 weeks pregnant. This week the baby becomes a fetus, no longer an embryo. This morning I had an ultra mega super crazy vomiting session in our bathroom. According to some bitches I shouldn't complain about it. But I am going to. It sucked. I would love it if I never had to do that again.

Like husband says, complaining are what Valetas do best. Tiggers bounce, babies cry, Valeta's bitch. I know because my grandma is named Valeta too.

Now I am off to eat second lunch or whatever the hobbits are calling it these days to keep the nausea away.

So my weekend was extremely tiring. I took the kids to a museum with some friends. Husband stayed home to work, of course. Thank god my friends were with me. Eric had a blast because we got to spend some one on one time together.

Just a few more days until we go on vacation. No one needs it more then we do. Hopefully the in-laws can watch the youngins while Husband and I go out alone together.

I really want to go with Husband to see the dark knight. We saw batman begins on our first date. :D <3

Back before marriage and babies, when we had a free babysitter for Eric whenever we wanted it. Things were really really fun.

You know. This morning I was extremely jealous of all the people who get to go to blogher and party and all that.

Well after reading a few blogs I am no longer jealous. There are real problems in the world. Who the fuck cares about a bunch of snobby bitches who wouldn't ever include someone like me anyway?

Links that wised me up:

http://outtamymindwithworry.blogspot.com/2008/07/blognot-social-activism.html

clusterfook

If I have a girl, I have to name her Iris.

I think a lot of my friends and family are sick of my pessimistic attitude. I am too, to be honest. But it seems like no matter what I try I just can't get out of this rut. It just plain sucks.

I am lonely. I know I have my wonderful children, but they are so needy. I love them. But between 9:45 A.M. and 6P.M. (8 P.M. on Tuesdays and Thursdays) they are who I am alone with all day. Then when husband is home, he is usually working anyway. Its like he is not even here, if I ask him a question he usually ignores me. Its annoying that most of the things I tell my husband go in one ear and out the other. Its like being alone even when he is here. I try to get out of the house but things always end badly.

Yesterday I tried to go to the park with my playgroup and when we got there Eric laid on the floor and cried for 20 minutes because he forgot his light saber. I tried talking to him. He wouldn't talk back he just whined and cried. I tried distracting him. I tried comforting him. Nothing worked. In the end, I had to say good bye to the nice adults in my playgroup and come home. I didn't know what to do. I was completely frustrated. He calmed down on the way home. But then we were stuck at home until Husband came home. Then when husband came home we ate dinner and he went straight to his laptop to do some work. I had to do dishes and put the kids to bed all alone. Its like that most nights.

I know a lot of husbands travel or have to go to Iraq for a year and moms do everything alone all the time and are perfectly sane and happy. But I am just not.

Seriously, it makes me cry. I just don't want to be alone anymore. Even though my family sucks, I miss them. All of my friends out here work full time. I hate asking them to hang out because I know they have their own family stuff going on. My playgroup has "Mom's night out" once a month, and its awesome. But seriously, I could use 1 night a week to go out without kids.

Anyway, enough bitchin' for today. Lily is in her crib yellin'.

I love this stuff.

So I have the worst luck finding a doctor. I need to find a GP because of the pain I was in all day.

I called my OB/GYN's office and they were like "sorry we can't help you." Jerks.

Also - its hard to go to the doctor when you have two kids and your husband wont take time away from work to watch them for you. I swear, he loves the Google more then he loves me.

I'm like "I'm in agony." He is like, "So?I'm at work what do you want me to do about it?" Help a bitch out sometimes. God.

Is it bedtime yet? Not that I can carry my daughter to her bed without being in pain.

Last year the week leading up to Lily's birth I would blog about whose birthday she would share if she was born that day. I never did blog about who she actually shares a birthday with.

August 5th birthdays:

"the elephant man"
Neil Armstrong
Loni Anderson
Ron Silliman
Rick Derringer
Devo Keenan
Evil Jared Hasselhoff

Earth girls are easy was one of my favorite movies as a teenager. There is something about stupid 80's movies that make me laugh. Some of my favorites are fast times at ridgemont high and the last american virgin. When I saw them they were on TBS or some channel that cut out all the good stuff but I still thought they were awesome when I was a teenager.

This song is why I was blonde from the age 13 until I was 17.


"Because I'm blonde, I don't have to think."

"When I see people working, it just makes me giggle because I don't have to work I just have to wiggle!"

I love it.

Yesterday was a really shitty day. Tried to stay out of the house because they were painting it but trying to keep both kids happy all day proved to be too much for me. Eric got a good haircut though. I was exhausted at 3 pm.

My cellphone wasn't working for some reason, so I couldn't even call someone to talk to a grown up or anything. We came home for a while and ignored the sounds of painters. We were at the shuttle stop at 6 and Kevin didn't get out. Eric stood near the shuttle saying "Where is he?" Turns out he missed the shuttle but my phone wasn't working so I didn't get his texts saying he missed it. I come home and IM him and say really mean things. It was no ones fault but I blame him anyway. He asks me to drive to get him because the next shuttle isn't until 7:50.

Turns out there is a concert at Shoreline Amphitheater which is right next to the Google. I was stuck on the same road for an hour before I finally got to the Google. I arrived at 7:50. I could have been home eating tater chips or something instead of listening to Lily scream for THE ENTIRE HOUR we were stuck in traffic. Oh well.

I decide not to let it get to me. I make an effort to be smiley happy when husband finally gets in the car. I am so hungry at this point I feel like I am gonna barf. He is grumpy and says mean things about everything I want for dinner. I say just go where ever you want. Or just go home and we can eat expired ramen noodles because that is all we have at home. We go to an Italian place and he complains the whole time about how there are no veggies on the kids menu.

Lily starts shrieking. She has been doing it all day today too. It is so annoying. She sounds like a hyena or something. I hope its just a phase and goes away. So I take the kids to the car and it takes the waitress forever to bring the check and Kevin is too busy playing Super Monkey ball on his iphone to care that it is 9pm and I have two grumpy kids in the car needing bedtime.

Come home and put the kids to bed. Yay. Mommy goes to bed too.

Decided to stay home and ignore painters to get some laundry done. Maybe today wont suck ass.

Andrea nominated me for this award. She is a great person and I hope she gets all she wants for her family. Thanks so much. :D

I don't really have 7 people to nominate for this award so I didn't want to post about it. I'm not sure what else to do about it. Do I not get the award because I don't have 7 blogger friends?

Yesterday was a busy busy fun filled day. I woke up with no plans to do anything. My playgroup was having a picnic but it was 30 minutes away and I didn't really feel like going. But a friend from the group emailed me a few times telling me to go. So I changed my mind and got everyone in the car and went.

I'm so glad I did! We had so much fun. There was a train ride, a bounce house and little petting zoo. And Lily got to play with her baby friends. At the petting zoo I got Eric a little cup of animal food. He walked out to the goats and they all rushed at him. One even jumped on him. It was like they were starving. Husband and I were both yelling "drop the food!" The food was in a ice cream cone and Eric wanted it for himself. He was so angry when the goats took it from him quickly. Poor guy, the goats made him cry. Then after the picnic hardly anyone wanted to take their food home. I didn't want to just throw it away so we came home with lots of food.

Then we came home and I cleaned out the inside of our car. Cleaned out yucky food covered car seats and everything. Made a yummy dinner of spaghetti and spinach salad.

I had the bright idea of using my shower radio at the drive in. Our car antenna is broken so we get no radio reception in our car. Husband and I are big movie people. We used to go at least once a week to the theater before we had Lily. So after dinner we all got in the car and drove to the drive in. After waiting in line for 30 minutes we find out they only accept cash. So we had to drive around and find an ATM. Then wait in line again. We missed the first part of the movie. We decided to see Hellboy 2. Then Eric wants a drink and the popcorn I made at home was burned and I just HAVE to have popcorn so I get to miss more of the movie to go get those things.

Turns out my shower radio sucks at the movies. But thankfully all the cars around us had their radios so loud we could still hear the movie. I sat in the backseat with Lily and when there were subtitles, I couldn't read them. Even though I missed a lot of the movie, and I couldn't tell what was going on sometimes I really liked it. Guillermo del Toro is totally awesome. We didn't stay for the second movie, I was sooo tired.

I really want to get the antenna repaired in our car so we can go to the drive in again. It was nice to be able to have the kids in pajamas and relax in the car and watch a movie.

After doing all that yesterday I just want to be lazy today. But there is laundry to be done, so no laziness for me.

Someone please make husband buy me this for my birthday. Thanks. :D

Do you know how old Bryan Adams was in 1969?

Why can't my kids do this? All Eric does is sing about Bob Dylan and Zombies.

I don't really have anything useful to blog about today. I feel like crap and kind of feel picked on. I know its my own fault, so I am trying to just get over it.

But I have something that is funny. To me anyway. My son's ant farm. We put it in the garage/playroom. Today I went to go check on the ants and I believe the big ants have all been killed by a swarm of little black ants. I am not 100% sure because I saw one of the big ants moving. The rest look dead. But the ant farm is completely surrounded by little black ants. At least they are not in the house.

I feel really bad for even getting the ant farm now. My son saw a show on the science channel about ants and thought they were awesome. I thought it would be neat. But now it looks like I've purchased these ants just so they could all be murdered by little mean black ants. My poor harvester ants.

This is why I don't have pets. I don't know how I feel about buying an animal to keep it as entertainment. Plus animals are gross and poop and pee everywhere. I can barely keep up with my kid's poop. And the hair. Yuck. Cat and dog hair is the worst. That being said I always pet and love on animals when I get the chance. I do love animals.

So I joined a playgroup for older kids. Ages 5-8. I was hoping Eric could make friends. It was listed as a SAHM group on meetup.com. Apparently it wasn't.

Well it is in the next town over from me so I figured driving to the meetings wouldn't be too much of a hassle. The first and only meeting I ever made it to was at a Panera Bread. Seemed like a silly place to have a group of rowdy kids meetup but I really needed something for Eric so I went. Google maps directions were wrong about the timing and I arrived 15 minutes late. No one else was there. I didn't see any other kids in the place. I stood there holding my 10 month old (at the time) and tried to think of what I should do. I didn't have anyone's phone number. Hum.

Finally a woman comes over to me and says she is in my playgroup. She doesn't have any kids with her. Apparently her step daughter is only with her a few days a week. (Then why the fuck did you come to a playgroup meeting?) Then the organizer finally shows up 45 minutes late, after Eric and I had finished eating. She has a 6 year old daughter, who Eric tries to run around and play with. At a restaurant. Then I'm chatting with the organizer, and trying to make both my children content at the same time. She sits there and says my son has ADHD because I apear to have it. And I should change my behavior. (How the fuck do you know anything about me when you just met me?)

I also find out that the organizer works full time and she didn't know what SAHM meant, she just wanted to make friends. (Are you fucking stupid? You don't know what SAHM means you paid $70 to start a SAHM group?)

So when they listed panera bread as another meeting, I said I didn't want to go. It took me too long to drive there. Especially during rush hour. And I can't afford to waste money when Eric probably wont get to meet anyone anyways.

Today she listed a meeting at her house at 5:45 pm on a weekday. She said she wanted to get together without the kids. I said "I cannot go to childless meetings at this time of day. I joined this group so my son could make friends."

Then a few hours later I get an email saying I was removed from the group because I do not fit in.

Then a few minutes after that I get a call from the organizer of my other playgroup who was also in that group. There is no way she could have known what happened unless the other organizer had called and told her.

I fucking hate drama. I have the worst luck with play groups. Maybe I really am just a terrible horrible evil person. I mean I have been kicked out of two playgroups this year.

I just want my kids to be around other kids. Is that a bad thing? Geeze.

Now I am 8 weeks pregnant. And I am totally feeling it. I have been tired and nauseous all day for the past week. I have to make myself eat because everything looks or smells disgusting. At least the baby is getting the prenatal vitamins.

No one has any sympathy for me though. If I complain to any of my friends about my morning sickness I get a "It's your own fault" in response. I guess its only your first pregnancy anyone cares about. After that who cares? Husband wont even get out of bed on the weekends when I am in the bathroom puking my guts out and our daughter is sitting on the floor next to me crying because she wants attention.

I miss my mom. Sure, her lifestyle is crazy. But she would always come play with Eric when I was sick when we lived near her. It really really sucks to have absolutely no one you can count on. I don't recommend moving states away from family. I mean, friends are nice and all. But they don't "have" to help you and family kinda does. Family has to put up with you no matter how annoying you are. I really need someone to help me out every week and put up with my annoying self.

Lilypants is turning a year old in a month. Didn't I just have her the other day? And on that same week we are flying 4+ hours down to old Ohio to visit family.

If you have advice on what to get her for her birthday, or something awesome that would entertain her on a plane please share!

I was thinking of getting her this or this. Or something like this.

For Eric's first birthday I got him this and it broke a week later. Total bummer. His first birthday party was care bear themed. He had a care bear cake and the store I ordered it from also gave him a little heart shaped cake because it was his first birthday. He crushed it and rubbed it all over his head. Aww sweet memories.

Today I took Eric to see WALL E. It was awesome. Robots in love are sweet.

It really makes you think. If you have seen it you know what I am talking about. It reminded me a lot of Idiocracy too. There is a reason films like this are being made.

We as humans are getting fatter, lazier and destroying our planet generation by generation. I think about all the things I waste and garbage I go through. Its disgusting. We all need to get our act together or else we will have to live on a space ship. It will be like Battlestar Galactica.

And we will all be severely overweight. Lets face it, a lot more people are now then they're have ever been. Every human in the movie was. And all the food was in liquid form. Gross. They didn't walk, they just went around on chairs kind of like Professor Xavier's staring at "tv" screens all day. And the thing with the "tvs" (or whatever you call them) is so true! I watch way too much of it. I think a lot of people do.

The only part that made me really sad was the little babies. They were kept in a room by themselves with only robots and a "tv" screen to keep them occupied. Babies need interaction!

Eric loved the movie too. He told me it was nice that it was just me and him. That made me smile.

I really just want to delete my last whiny post. Sorry about that. Morning sickness is killing me. Okay I like to exaggerate. It sucks though.

We had a wonderful 4th of July. Eric and I stood out near the pool in our housing track and saw the the fireworks through a couple of houses. He squealed and ran around and loved them. I haven't had Eric on the 4th in two years but his reaction was the same then too. Kids just love fireworks. I love when Eric loves something and squeals with delight. Its just awesome.

Lily was asleep long before fireworks. We went to a barbecue that day and she fell asleep on the way home and slept all night. Next year we will have a 5 month old and an almost 2 year old so I am not sure if we will go see fireworks. Eric probably will not be with us anyway.

This was one holiday I wasn't lonely. Usually I am because we live so far away from our families.

I have a baby standing next to me grabbing my arm grunting for attention so I'd better go give it to her. :D

We are supposed to be on our way to go bowling with our playgroup for kids Eric's age. But I had been telling Eric all day we are only going if he has good behavior. He didn't listen to anything I said all day.

Then I made spinach ravioli for dinner. He wraps his arms around his chest and whines "I don't liiiike ravioli!" (He usually loves it)

So I say, "Thats nice. This is what I made for dinner, eat it or we are not going bowling."

He takes the ravioli and throws it on the floor.

I yelled at him to get to his room. I was so angry. UGH! I wish I had not yelled. At least I didn't beat him.

I picked up his food and put it back on his plate. 5 minutes later I let him come out of his room and try to eat dinner again. He says his ravioli have germs on them. So I warm him up some tomato and red pepper soup. He eats it all.

We are not going bowling. In the past, I have given in the things like these just so we could get out of the house. He thinks I am just being a mean mommy. I was so looking forward to some adult conversation. I haven't spoken to another adult (in person) since I dropped my husband off at work this morning. My husband will not be home for 3 hours and I don't know what to do with these kids. I have run out of ideas after being home all day.

I am so bummed. I just want someone to talk to. I just want to get out of the house. :(

So I had another ultrasound today. Everything looked awesome. My little beanie weenie had a tiny little heart beat. It was so cute. In my eyes anyway. I love it already.

I can't get my scanner to work so I took a picture of my ultrasound with my digital camera. Ghetto, but at least I can still share my little bean.

My due date is February 17th. We may yet have a valentine baby. And we have plenty of friends and family whose birthdays are in February too. Eric has my cousin's birthday. Lily was born the day before mine. I wonder who number 3 will share it's with?

On another note. I don't know if I blogged about Husband's worries over money. He was starting to stress after we found out I was pregnant.

Turns out he doesn't have to stress so much, he got a 13.9% raise yesterday. I am so proud of him. He works 60+ hours a week and misses so much of the little things because of it. All those hours are really paying off. Go husbandface! You rock!

So either my son has gotten really really annoying. Or my pregnancy hormones are making me annoyed by every little thing he does.

I feel like he never shuts up. I just want a few minutes of silence.

And I feel really terrible for feeling this way.

I can't wait for August 25th. He will go to kindergarten every week day for 4 hours. Yay.

Maybe he will even have some fun and make friends.