Yesterday I had to take both kids to my midwife appointment. Not really a big deal but I was exhausted the rest of the day. I am just lucky I got an iphone for my birthday. It was at an office I had never been to and I almost got lost. Yay for google maps and gps.

So my midwife practice is changing. They are moving from the office that is 15 minutes from my house to their other office that is 30 minutes from my house. And they are no longer delivering at the hospital I delivered Lily at. I don't even want to have the baby in a hospital but I am doing it for husbandface. It would have been nice to do it at at a hospital I am familiar with.

I have heard good things about the hospital they are still delivering at. I have to double check but I heard they have a birthing pool. That would be neat. I really want to stay with my midwives, I do not want another OB/GYN delivery unless medically necessary. So I guess its to a new hospital for me.

Eric was put in the afternoon class after all. I am so relieved. Today he met his teacher and one of his class mates is in our old playgroup and they are already friends. His teacher was already concerned with his failing to follow directions after recess. He also made his own sandwich today. A very messy peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

I know this schedule will work out great for us. Lily fell asleep on the way home from walking Eric to school and she will hopefully have a long nap. She hadn't napped more then an hour the last two days, she was really cranky. Now I have to try and get the floor mopped while princesshead is sleeping.

It is going to take some time to get used to our new schedule. And next week the school may change it again. I found out yesterday that there is no room for Eric at his school but the district wont move him to a new school until next week.

I am torn between feeling relief to get a break from Eric and missing him while he is at school. It doesn't actually feel like a break right now. By the time I walk home from his school, take Kevin to his shuttle, come home and try to get Lily to nap its time to wake her up go get him again. Four hours goes by really fast.

Hopefully we get the schedule all figured out and stuff before I have a new baby on my hands. :D

Eric's first day of school went okay. He was well behaved and brought home a drawing he did of lots of jedis and spiderwebs. Some have no arms and they all have gigantic heads. It is the most awesome drawing ever to go on my fridge.

I heard from other moms at the school that lots of kids did not show up. That means they lose their spot. Hopefully I hear if he gets to be put in the regular class soon. Today he had a retired kindergarten teacher teach him and she was very sweet.

For his snack I had him take some cherry tomatoes and a box of apple juice. He didn't eat most of the tomatoes or drink the juice. But he brought home the wrapping of some one else's cheese and crackers. He said someone shared their snack with him. How sweet. Too bad he didn't eat his own.

While Eric was at school, Lily and I went to target. It was so quiet without Eric. I ran in and out of the store so fast. Then Lily had a nap. But I had to ruin her nap to pick Eric up from school. It seems like she missed Eric while he was gone. She has been laughing at him all day. Or maybe she is just tired. :D

I was totally excited for Eric to be starting school on Monday. But now I am totally bummed.

Today they posted the class lists at the school and Eric isn't even in a regular class. I registered him on time and was told he would be in the afternoon class like I wanted and everything looked good. He is listed in the "Overflow" class. I am not sure what that means but he might be sent to some school farther away and that will be crappy. I would have to drive him everyday.

And he has to be at school by 8:45 A.M. The 10:25-2:25 schedule would have been perfect for us because husband leaves for work at 9:45. And I had made a few appointments this week expecting Eric to be at school in the afternoon. Now I have to make sure everyone is ready super early in the morning on Monday. And call my midwife to reschedule an appointment I have already rescheduled twice. Ugh.

I was hoping for a momentous first day where I could meet his teacher and take a picture of him at his desk. Now I have no idea what will happen. I hate surprises. I like to plan things. Bleh. I hope it goes well anyway.

I'm going to copy Darcie, and write about what makes me smile. I'm in a bad mood today and I don't really know why. Maybe its the headache. Maybe its the fatigue. I am dealing though.

~ Any song I have heard live. If its on the radio, in a movie or playing somewhere random. It makes me smile. I love concerts. Before I had Eric I was quite the concert whore. I don't get to go to them anymore. The last one we went to we had to leave early to get the kids from my friend who was watching them. One of my goals was to see NIN live. I don't think I ever will. They have been here a few times and they will be here next month and I do not get to go. *sigh* The best concerts (In my opinion) I have ever been to: Pantera(dimebag was alive and they were still together and it was great), Bob Dylan, Godsmack (Acoustic, omg it was awesome), ICP(I had fun, I don't want any mean comments. Good thing husband doesn't read my blog) and korn(I had a thing for Jonathan Davis when I was a teenager).

~ Just like D, my kid's laughter. There is nothing like it. I think its one of the only things that can keep you sane when you are a SAHM.

~ Cake. I love cake. Husband doesn't. And at my baby shower for Lily I was the only one who ate any. People who don't like cake are crazy. Cake is good. And not crappy carrot or nut filled cake. White sugary yum cake.

~ Being right. Husband and I sometimes get into dumb petty arguments. We are very immature. He is usually right. He has a lot of useless crap in his brain. But when I am right, it is awesome. Mwahahahaha!

~ Friends. Friends make me smile. Everyone needs friends.

~ Holidays. I wake up on Halloween, Thanksgiving, Xmas and other holidays and just smile. There is something magical about holidays. Even if you have no one to spend them with.

I haven't been posting a lot this week. I am 14 weeks pregnant. I have had A LOT of headaches that wont go away with tylenol and coke (My usual headache remedy). My back has already started to hurt. Probably from carrying Lily up and down the stairs. I am probably going to have to let her sleep downstairs during the day once Eric is in school and no longer around to wake her up.

I really hate living in a two story house. I fall down the stairs at least once a month. We lived in a tiny apartment when I was pregnant with Lily, so I love having space. I just hate going up and down the stairs all day. And carrying a 20-something lb girl too. Good thing I have a travel crib I can use downstairs if I have to.

I have been trying to get Eric ready for school. Today he had a "practice" lunch. I packed his lunch and he had to eat it as if he was at school. I just wanted to make sure he could open all the different packaging and things. I packed a pb & j on whole wheat, berry yogurt, baby carrots, pringles and some raspberries. And a box of apple juice. The only thing he didn't eat was the chips, which surprised me. He normally loves chips. I thought he would have trouble opening the yogurt but he didn't. I have noticed lately that he eats a lot at lunch, but barely eats dinner.

I finally got my iphone on Sunday. I heart it. It is by far the best birthday present I have ever gotten. Even if it was two weeks after my birthday when I got it. :D

Six unspectacular things about me. (What do you mean? Everything about me is completely spectacular, duh.) Andrea tagged me.

rules:
1 link the person who tagged you
2 mention the rules in your blog
3 tell six unspectacular quirks about you (only 6? hmmmm)
4 tag 6 bloggers by leaving a comment on their blog


1. Growing up my dream was to be an actor. I wanted to win an oscar. I threw that dream away the day I got pregnant with Eric. I know it is an unrealistic dream, but I was awesome at improv dammit.

2. I don't like it when other people drive. I get frustrated when Kevin gets lost. He always goes the wrong way and drives like a grandma. Its so annoying.

3. I used to love shopping. Any kind of shopping. Now I hate it. I think it is because I have two kids and I don't have any shopping friends out here.

4. Even though we weren't actively trying to get pregnant with number 3, I have always said I wanted to have 3 kids. So it looks like I am getting my wish. Yay.

5. I suck at video games. I play a lot of them, but I have only ever beaten a few. I usually give up halfway through the game. I'm really good at the sims(a game you can't "win"). A few of my favorites: the sims 2, final fantasy x and x-2, final fantasy VI, star wars KoTOR, KoTOR 2, fable, my sims, harvest moon (all of them except the first one). I mostly just like RPGs. Husband says I am "such a girl" about video games. Whatever the hell that means.

6. My right pinky and ring finger are partially numb. I fell through a glass coffee table when I was 13 and the tendon was cut. I had surgery to repair it but my mom couldn't afford the therapy so I never regained full feeling in those two fingers.

I tag anyone who loves doing quizzes. They are fun. :D

The best part of my Friday was racing with Eric back to our car after watching this movie. We both laughed loudly and held hands and ran. I always let him win. As I watched him climb into our car I realized, this is the end. The end of my time.

He is starting kindergarten and will be in school for the next several years. And after that he will be grown. Last night as husband read chapter 25 of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince and Eric fell asleep halfway through, I couldn't help but see my first baby in his face. Will I always see that in his face? The way he still looks as though he is sleeping with his eyes open because his lashes are so thick. The way he holds his mouth open. No matter how old he gets, he will always be my first baby. :D

One of my favorite songs ever.




I can feel you dreaming of me. I can feel you dreaming.

In the past few weeks Lily has changed so much. She went from only taking a few steps at a time and falling on her butt to walking everywhere. She cannot balance while holding anyone's hand. And she walks really slow. But she is walking!

She has been eating like a piggie. I put food in front of her and she eats it as fast as she can. If anyone around her is eating anything she walks over to them and begs like a dog. Her big beautiful brown eyes say, "Can I have some mama?" Of course I usually give in.

I believe her eyes are staying brown now. I originally thought they were hazel because sometimes they were brown and sometimes they seemed gray or green. Now I haven't seen them any other color in a few weeks. My brown eyed girl. :D

I can't believe its already been a year with her in my life. So much has happened to me emotionally this year. I have hit so many lows. Felt lower then I have ever felt in my life. But now she walks over to me and hugs me close and I know, it is all worth it.

We got off to such a rocky start. At first, I knew I loved her but I didn't have that explosion of motherly love like I had the day I had Eric. Sometimes I didn't know who cried more, me or her. Now when I play with her I feel that explosion of happiness and contentment when I hear her tiny giggle or when I kiss her tiny foot.

I have proven to myself just how strong I really am. I thought I was weak, for even feeling the way I felt. But I am not weak. I have gotten through the depression and everything by myself. Not one friend stuck by me when I really needed them. When I thought about suicide no one came to the rescue. I had to pick myself up and say, "You will get through this." The medicine, the therapy didn't help. In the end it came down to me.

I have survived postpartum depression and after the blackness and the fog of it all I can see the light. Life is great. My children are wonderful. I am awesome.

Eric was like a baby when I first saw this video. I still heart it.

Since Eric starts kindergarten in two weeks I took him to buy his school uniforms last night. He has to wear navy blue, white and burgundy shirts and navy blue and khaki pants. I could not find any burgundy shirts anywhere so he gets khaki, navy blue and white everything.

I always have issues buying Eric pants. He is tall and skinny. Pants that are long enough are usually way too big around his skinny waist. I hate even going to the mall but I had heard that the children's place had these awesome adjustable pants. And they did! His uniforms fit! Yay!

I am so boring I have nothing to blog about but my son's school uniform. Haha.

I have not yet recovered from all the traveling. I haven't washed all the laundry yet. I thought I would be less tired in the second trimester but so far I am just exhausted. I am 13 weeks pregnant today. The baby should be the size of a jumbo shrimp. Mmm shrimp.

I'm going to go listen to music husbandface would hate and do the laundry. You know you are jealous. =P

Husband and baby are sleeping. Eric is distracted by the star wars.

some things:

I am allergic to Ohio.

Everyone has suggestions for what I should name baby number three. Most amusing: Cleveland, Brock and Hibiscus. Brock makes me think of Pokemon. Tee hee.

My father in law is extremely proud of his hibiscus plant. He would not shut up about it.

The first trimester is the worst time to travel.

All of the restaurants we tried in Toledo sucked. You would think since husband grew up there he would know where to find food.

My husband did not get me anything for my birthday. He had gone out shopping for my birthday present twice before we left for Ohio. But when it came to my birthday, he didn't even have a card. On my birthday while we eating the worst "mexican" food I have ever tasted I said, "Where is my birthday present?" He handed me his iphone. So for my birthday, I get a promise that he will get me an iphone, eventually. Another shitty fucking birthday for my long list of shitty fucking birthdays.

Lily's first birthday party was awesome. She had a tutu and cake. She walked all over. My little princess is a year old. I love her so much. I have promised husband that she will never again have a princess themed birthday party. She will always be a princess to me, no matter what he says.

I finished the last chapter of breaking dawn the night we came home. Totally awesome book. I love happy endings. :D

I'm home. Everyone is sick, just like last year. Hopefully there will not be a hospital stay for Lily this year.

I will upload pictures when I can. I have to go baby my family. :D