So of course the one day we have to attend an outdoor event, it rains for the first time in months. Googleween this year sucked. Eric was so disappointed. They had face painting and a tiny bit of candy but the lines were way too long and I was getting soaked. We stood around and listened to a band for a little while. Last year they had food but this year they only had chips and cookies. 

But for the hour we were there I did see some cute costumes. I saw two kids dressed up like thing 1 and thing 2. I saw a mommy chef, a daddy fisherman and a baby lobster.  I saw a mom with a baby in a baby carrier that said "Obama Mama."Next year I want to dress us all up together in some theme. I'm thinking all the kids can be vegetables, Husband can be a fork and I'll be a spoon. Or the boys can be Mario and Luigi, Lily can be toadstool, I can be peach and Husband can be Bowser. Heh I love Halloween. Too bad this year stinks. 

I did go to the midwife yesterday. New baby sounds great. I hugged my midwife when I found out she is pregnant too. Yay for babies. 

We have agreed on a name for him but I have decided not to announce it to the world. I will just get comments that will make me doubt my decision and I don't need that. 

No time to blog. Too busy spending every minute the kids are asleep or at school playing fable 2 and trying to mentally prepare for NaNoWriMO next week. 

This weekend was busy busy and fun. I am still tired. 

On Saturday we bought Lily a potty. She loves chairs so of course she sat on it all day. She peed next to it and on top of the lid, but never in it. I wasn't expecting much, I mostly just wanted to buy the potty to get her used to it. Eric was almost 4 before he was potty trained, it was really hard to train him. But we all laughed when she stood up and peed right next to the potty. 

Eric got new shoes with shoe laces. I usually always buy the Velcro ones. I have been trying all weekend to teach him to tie his shoes himself. With no luck. He just makes a big mess with the laces. At least he is excited and trying. 

On Sunday we took the kids to the Jack O'Lantern Jamboree at Fairyland. It was freaking awesome. Usually we take the kids somewhere like this and we spend a lot of money and we are all disappointed. This was totally worth the $46 we spent. The kids made out like bandits in free ice cream, candy and even an awesome hand puppet. They rode rides, met pirates jumped in bouncy houses. Eric even made friends with a little boy who said he was the real Harry Potter. I saw a guy dressed up like Link and a guy dressed like Jack Skellington. By the time we came home my ankles were swollen, but it was well worth it. I plan on taking the kids to this. :D

Husband, sensing my boredom of the winter to come went out and bought me Fable 2. I have been looking forward to it forever. I only got to play for about an hour after the kids went to bed last night but so far I lurve it. I am so going to play right now while Lily is napping and Eric is in school. Mwahahaha. 

I won something! Yay me! 

I entered this giveaway. Right now I am in love with all giraffe themed baby items so after looking at the shop that is what I picked out. I am super happy I won. My package arrived today.

All of the items are super soft to the touch. I tucked the tiny blankie and blankie bungees away for new baby. I automatically gave Lily the binkie bungee. She hasn't lost her binkie all day, woo hoo! 

I've been tagged by Darcie.  Yay me.

1. I'm addicted to the sims 2. I have all the expansion packs and like to make people I know on there. I think its like playing barbies on the computer. I like to make my sims have lots of babies with funny names. 

2. I used to work in a pizza shop and my favorite kind is green olives and garlic. Mmmm.

3. I write constantly. I have notebooks all over my house to write in. I never let anyone read them. I get mad at husband if he reads them.

4. I have irrational fears. I am scared of the noises the toilet makes at night. I am scared my windshield will blow up whenever I am driving. I am scared I might be abducted by aliens, I will cry if you mention them at night. I am terrified of ghosts and/or spirits. I realize most of these things will not happen but that doesn't make me any less scared. 

5.  I suck at knitting. I do it anyway. Practice makes perfect.

6. I love to enter blog give-aways. I won one and it was awesome.

7. I have missed Arizona every day since I moved to California. 

I always tag the same people and I don't have anyone new to tag so I tag anyone new to my blog. Mwahahaha!

23 weeks, compared. The first one is this time, the second one is Lily.

I have told myself I wouldn't blog about being sad anymore. But this past weekend and week sad is what I have felt most of the time. So I'm a liar. 

I am 23 weeks pregnant and I am exhausted. I thought the second trimester was happy happy dance around and be jolly time? Not this time around. I am getting big and tired. 

I try to pretend I am okay with the fact that I basically don't have a mom. Or any family besides the ones that live with me. I'm not. It hurts me so much that I have not even spoken to my mom since I dropped her off at the airport. Not even a call to say she made it. When Eric asks for grandma Jackie, I change the subject. I don't know what to tell him anymore. "Your grandma is a drug addict and doesn't care about us?" I can see that scaring him for life. 

At Eric's soccer class I don't fit in with the other moms. Because I am not from India and I do not speak whatever language they speak. When they do speak English they talk about which overpriced preschool they will send their younger children. It makes me feel self conscious and wonder what they say in the other language. I guess I should just mind my own business. I didn't send Eric to preschool. These women spend $1200 a month for someone to teach their kids to color. How the hell do they afford it? My husband has a decent job and there is no way we could afford that. 

All these moms I meet are so concerned about silly things like preschool and what brand of clothing their children wear. I am just happy my kids have a house to live in. Food to eat. Parents who love them. No parents getting arrested in the middle of the night. No babysitter molesting them and making them feel like it it their fault. No broken beer bottles in the backyard to cut their feet on. No uncles throwing them in the backyard and hosing them off in the freezing winter when they poop their pants. 

My children have everything children really need. So I don't worry about all this petty bullshit and try to keep my mouth shut when around other moms who care about such nonsense. I still feel lonely, sometimes feeling as if I have no one to talk to. 

Husband likes to talk in his sleep. Actually, I don't know if he likes to but he does. Normally its either about work, "blah blah blah algorithms blah blah blah code." Or about zombies, "Get the axe! Cut their heads off!" He has a thing for zombie Apocalypse stories.  Normally I find it really annoying. Here I am trying to sleep and he starts talking. 

Last night he was talking about my belly. He said, "Feel that? That's the new baby. It's okay, touch mama's belly." He must have been talking to Lily. If I wasn't dead tired I could have hugged him. So cute. I love him.

Anyone who has a daughter should enter this contest! Hurry, it ends today!!! An Ordinary Life is giving away a rose petal cottage. :D

See more Hayden Panettiere videos at Funny or Die

I was cleaning with all our music on our computer on random. These songs made me sing loud.

Last night and this morning Eric was on total "go" mode. He would not sit still. He would not calm down. The only time he was quiet was when he was asleep. Needless to say, I am a little stressed today. 

I try to keep an eye on his diet, but I think they might share food at school. I have talked to him about not eating other people's food but I just don't see what else to do to stop that. 

I get not-so-understanding comments from other parents about Eric's behavior. But I don't think they could possibly understand unless they had a child with similar behavior. He just doesn't quit. He doesn't shut up. Last night I had to leave the room and let Kevin handle him. I literally could not take any more. I love him. He is my sweet boy. Sometimes, Mommy needs a break. 

So this weekend was a crazy tear filled hormonal paradise for me. 

Friday night we took Eric roller skating with his school and since it was his first time, he fell a lot. I laughed a lot. I am a mean mommy. He had tons of fun. Husband refused to let me skate. "You are five months pregnant! My son is in there!" Blah blah. I love skating. Lily was too little to skate so me and her shared a churro and watched everyone else skate. She loved the churro and cried when it was all gone. 

Saturday I went crazy and cleaned/organized the fridge and the cupboard. Let the nesting continue. 

Sunday (yesterday) we went to Ardenwood Farm for a harvest festival and picked corn and made corn husk dollies. Lily decided hers didn't taste good and Eric liked taking his apart. We were all exhausted afterwards.

Before all the corn filled fun, I cried all morning. I cried over everything. I cried because all two pair of my maternity jeans were dirty. I cried because Kevin got mad at me for losing a bill we had to pay. I cried because Kevin gets annoyed when I buy the new baby anything because he wont be born for four months (and you should never buy anything unless you absolutely have to.) I cried because Kevin slept in. I cried because I don't have any real friends (a real friend being someone who is always there for you and who you can tell anything to).  I cried because Eric spilled milk. Yes, I cried over spilled milk. Valeta + pregnancy = craziness. 

Some how I got my freaking act together and we got to the farm and ended up having fun. I even forgave husband for annoying me. 

Twilight HD Exclusive Trailer

Thrifty & chic mom is giving away pedi peds. I love em! Everyone go leave comments and enter.

SO I post a blog talking about how disappointing Eric is and he goes and proves me wrong. He has been good 3 days in a row at school. His teacher is so happy and I am so proud of him. He says he is going to follow directions every day at school so he can have video games back. So maybe taking video games away from him has worked. I don't know. He hasn't been allowed to play for two weeks. 

I have found another perfect baby name but husband isn't sure. This is the same crap that happened when I was pregnant with Lily. I just wanted her to have a name. So the first thing he agreed to was her name. I don't just want whatever name he agrees to. I want the perfect name, damn it. Ah oh well. 

My kids love listening to this in the car.

Tomorrow I will be 21 weeks pregnant. Woo hoo! 

Today I was looking at Lily's newborn pictures and I just can't wait to hold new baby. I hope we can agree on a name before then. Whenever I suggest a new name now Husband rolls his eyes and tries to change the subject. He is still stuck on Apollo. I don't know why it bothers me that I know several people with dogs named Apollo, but it does. I want new baby to have an awesome not dog name. 

Eric isn't getting better in school. There are so many things I want to say about this but I don't even know where to start. His school councilor is starting a kindergarten group for kids who are having a hard time adjusting and I hope this will help. Being a parent is sometimes so frustrating. I have had someone tell me I don't deserve to be Eric's mother and that so many women would do a better job. I don't want to go into all the details but that just hurt me beyond anything that has ever been said to me before. 

How exactly does one "deserve" a child? A child is not a thing. A child is someone that, as a parent, you keep safe and help grow and learn. All parents just try the best they can. That is all we can do. 

Why do some women who do not have children feel the need to judge the ones that do? How can someone possibly understand what I might be feeling or going through without having children of their own? 

On a lighter note, Eric has taught Lily the word I hate the most. "caca." Just the sound of it. Yuck. She walks around saying, "dada. dada. CACA!" I can't help but laugh. Kids are so, so silly. Lily is lucky she has a big brother to teach her things because I would never teacher her that yucky sounding word.

I changed the layout to blue for my baby boy. :D Yay!

I have to blog about something to get that silly survey off the top of the page.

Halloween is coming! Yey! It is my favorite holiday. This weekend we invited our playgroup to our house to make silly decorations. Kid-made decorations are the best kind for holidays, if you ask me. I think I am more excited then Eric is. Haha. 

I already have our costumes picked out. I am going to be a pregnant cat, Eric is going to Anakin Skywalker again, Lily is going to be a stargazer lily and husband wants to be a pot. Now, how in the hell does one create a pot? I have a lot of cardboard boxes so I guess I can try those. Maybe he can just dress is all green and be her stem. This is the costume I ordered for her. Eeee! She is going to be so cute!

Eric has been some silly things over the years. He was a pumpkin his first Halloween. A frog the next year.  Then champ bear the care bear when he was two. Superman when he was three. Last year he was Anakin Skywalker. 

Lily was a pumpkin at one party and R2D2 at "Googleween" last year. It was fun dressing her up. Husband was "The ghost of web 2.0" last year, but no one got it except a couple of geeks at Google. Every year he wants to be a zombie or something really scary and every year I remind him we have children who he will scare the shit out of so he has to be something kid friendly. 

Because I like to live up to whats expected of me.

1. What is your occupation? Stay-at-home mom
2. What color are your socks right now? not wearing any
3. What are you listening to right now? the hum of the bathroom fan
4. What was the last thing that you ate? a cheese filled pastry thing
5. Can you drive a stick shift? yep
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Husband
7. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yes. She is a nice gal. 
8. How old are you today? 24.
9. What is your favorite sport to watch? Only the ones Eric plays.
10. What is your favorite drink? Ice tea or Pepsi
11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Lots of times
12. Last time you hugged your child? About 10 minutes ago
13. Favorite food? chocolate
14. What was the last movie you watched? Nanny McPhee
15. Favorite day of the year? My birthday.
17. What was your favorite toy as a child? barbies
18. What is your favorite season? summer
19. Ocean or pool? ocean
20. Cherries or Blueberries? blueberries
21. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? yes
22. Who is the most likely to respond? no idea
23. Who is least likely to respond? no idea
24. Living arrangements?  We are renting a 2 bedroom/2 1/2 bathrooms house.
25. When was the last time you cried? I can't remember. Probably sometime last week.
26. What is on the floor in your closet? clothes that will no longer fit
27. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Melanie
28. What did you do last night? Fell asleep as soon as Husband came home. I was feeling like crap. 
30. What inspires you? Hmm. Lots of things inspire me. 
31. What are you afraid of? the dark
32. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Cheese
33. Favorite dog breed? chiuahuah
34. Favorite day of the week? friday
35. What states have you lived in? Arizona, California, Oklahoma and Ohio.