Kids are in bed and I am pumping. Lately gamma hasn't been nursing as much and I'm so full it hurts. Usually I barely make enough milk so yay us.

This first week of first grade has kept me so busy. We are adjusting to the schedule and all that. I am sad the weekend is over. I had a lovely time hangin' with husband.

Now I need to tidy the kitchen before bed.

We were walking home from school and Eric says, "Mom, Where did you buy the ruler that was in my backpack?" I laughed. "I bought all your school supplies at Staples. Except your backpack. Why?" He said, "Because one of the kids in my class said it was from CHINA!" I stopped right there and hugged him. It was just too cute. Then I told him how lots of things are made in China. And when we got home we found tons of things from CHINA!

I am amazed to watch him grow up and learn. This little boy grew in my body. Nursed from my breast. Learned how to walk. And now he can read. Life is awesome.

When I walked into his room this morning he was already dressed for school. I made him special french toast, eggs and strawberries for breakfast with orange juice. He barely ate. He wore his favorite darth vader socks. He sat around impatiently while I got the babies ready. Then we walked to school as a family.

We found the line to room 17. He was the second to last in line. His teacher said hello. He sheepishly looked at the ground. She asked, "And what is your name?" He said,"Eric." She gave me a name tag to pin on his shirt. He held the straps to his new clone wars backpack and looked up at me nervously as I pinned it on.

I hugged him tightly, but not for too long. Didn't want to embarrass him. I told him to have a nice day and I'd be there when school was over. He swung his lunch box back and forth as he followed the line to the first day of first grade.

I am the mother of a grade schooler.

First thing in the morning she runs to him and says, "Eggie awake!" They hug each other and then beg me for cheerios. They beg to go to the pool today. She says, "play pool! play pool!" Maybe after naptime.

"Eric, where are you?" I call. She looks up to me and says, "Where Eggie go?" I smile.

"Lily say Gamma!" She says, "baby." I laugh.

At dinner she is a mess and she laughs loudly and says, "I funny."

Yes Lily. You funny.

So we are finally back from Washington. We had so much fun. I took over 300 pictures and I wish I had taken more. I just now got the babies to nap and I have so much to do. Laundry, unpacking, organizing. The fabulous life of Valeta.

Tomorrow Gamma and I fly to Phoenix to retrieve my Eric. I haven't seen him in two months. I bet he has grown and learned so much. I miss his face. On Monday he starts FIRST grade!

Moo has become an annoying ankle biter. I signed us up for puppy classes. So I can learn to be a better doggy mama. I am pretty sure she is already really good at being a puppy. My chewed up shoes say so. Even though she makes Lily cry, Lily always forgives her. They are two peas in a pod.

This trip has brought me closer to Husbandface. Its amazing how even after being married for 3 years I feel like we have so much to learn about each other.

Today is Gamma's half birthday. He is 6 months old. He scoots. He sits up (While falling over a lot.) Eats yummy pureed broccoli. I feel like his babyhood is just flying by too fast. I want him to be my chubby baby forever.

This is the first real vacation I have ever had. I think vacations are good for the soul. Getting away from the every day monotony of my life has been great. I have taken so many pictures. I have had some experiences that make me realize how great and precious life is.

We have had a lot of adventures along the way. Crater lake is absolutely gorgeous. Camping was dirty but way fun. Cheap hotels are usually in bad neighborhoods. Someone got shot just outside of the first one we were at. Sunday morning I was walking across the street to kmart to get diapers and there was a dead teenager on the side walk. It was awful. Now we are in a better neighborhood. I am not holding the whole shooting thing against Seattle. People are dumb and shoot people in every big city.

Seattle is awesome. Humid, but awesome. Love it here so far.

The kids are taking this trip pretty well. When camping it got way colder then we expected and Gamma(and me) hated that. Next time we are bringing sleeping bags. Not blankets. And Lily was a little confused our first night in a hotel. She said, "want go home." at first. But I think she is having fun now. Husbandface just took her outside a little while ago to splash in rain puddles. She loves jumping in puddles.

I am going to order room service for breakfast. I have never done that before. Tee hee! I am like so immature.

Oh yeah. I am 25 now. Go me.

Yesterday morning Lily sat up in our tent and said, "awake!." Husband and I were already making breakfast so we ran to her and hugged her. We told her happy birthday over and over. We asked her if she felt older now that she was two. She would answer, "yea!" We spent most of the day in the car. Driving from Crater lake to Seattle. We went to a restaurant for dinner and let her open her presents. She liked the tissue paper better then the actual gifts. She had a little cupcake with a candle in it. She was one happy girl. As soon as we could get service on our cellphones we called everyone so they could say happy birthday to her. She kept saying, "birthday!"

My beautiful baby girl is no longer a baby. She is a big girl.

Today I turn 25. I thought I would hate having our birthdays so close together. I'm selfish like that. But I love it. I love her. I love everything. I love life.

Three weeks ago I found myself sitting in the shower hugging my knees and not wanting to face the day. I didn't want to get out. Because once I got out there was hours of screaming, poop, frustration and loneliness. Husband told me I should do something about it. So I did. I called a maternal outreach program.

I saw several therapists, a psychiatrist and a nurse. They were all wonderful. I joined a support group for the past two weeks. I have gone back on my medication.

I am doing SO MUCH BETTER now. The first couple months after Gamma's birth were a blur. I thought I was fine. But it turns out I was so not fine. And I got help, again.

This time I am taking precautions to make sure I do not relapse back into the dark scary place.